NEW DAY NEW LESSON » Featured, Lesson of the Day, Sickness » Helping Others Should Not Be About You
Helping Others Should Not Be About You
Helping others means doing what is best and most needed for the person you are helping.
It should not be about your needs.
Your help should be given for the right reasons and more importantly you should make sure you are giving the right type of help.
At times people just don’t think. They can be well meaning but totally clueless. Other times their actions can border on stupidity.
And sometimes people can deceive themselves into thinking they are doing something nice for someone else, when in truth it is their own needs they are taking care of. A need to feel helpful or just a need to make their presence known.
Like this big humungous flower arrangement.
I guess it might be considered a thoughtful gift.
Maybe, if it was for someone who loves fresh flowers and was in a position to appreciate it. When it is sent to a guy who has been hospitalized for over a week and who is not quite with it, I would say the gift was more for the person who sent it than for the person who received it. Never mind that his poor exhausted wife had to lug it home while muttering under her breath about the dumb ass gift her husband received. (And she is not a swearer)
What would have been a more appropriate gift from someone wishing to convey long distance concern? A fruit basket for the family sitting at the patient’s bedside would be greatly appreciated. That is something than can be used and enjoyed by the sick person as well as the family who keep a bedside vigil all day.
Anytime you want to help others stop for a minute and consider what your true motives are in offering your help. Is it about them or about you.
If it is about them, ask in what way you can help. Put yourself in their shoes and try to be considerate.
We don’t always say or do the right things, but we should remember to keep the focus on the person we want to help.
So how did you guys all do with this week’s Kindness Club Week 10 prompt of visiting or helping someone who is sick?
Go on and write a post about your experiences. (Don’t forget to use the URL from your post not your site). The link will be open for a week. (Sunday-Sunday)
Make sure to come back on Tuesday for this week’s Kindness Club Prompt.
Can’t wait to hear your stories.
Written by Susie
I am me and also lots of other things like a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a daughter in law, a sister in law, a friend, an oncology nurse, a blogger, a life coach in training, an avid book reader, a chauffeur, a chef, a shopper, a maid and on some days a bit overwhelmed. On this blog I share my journey of striving to see the best in everyone and everything. Strive, because I don't always manage to. Yup, I am human. I would love to have you join me in learning lessons in positivity from life.
Filed under: Featured, Lesson of the Day, Sickness · Tags: consideration, helping others
12 Responses to "Helping Others Should Not Be About You"
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interesting post susie. thanks for the tips and the gentle reminder to think from the other person’s point of view. i seem to remember someone wording it something like treat others how you think *they* want to be treated rather than the quintessential “how you want to be treated.” food for thought, for sure! thanks!
Or just ask them straight out what they need.
As if your friend didn’t have enough on her plate. I hope your friend is improving and send by best wishes to you and his family at this difficult time.
It’s often hard for people to say or do anything in these situations, they don’t know how to behave or what to say and can be overcome with embarrassment at their own ineptitude, I remember someone once telling me that when her husband was critically ill someone she thought of as a friend crossed the road rather than speak to her… Shameful.
Thank you for your wishes.
That really is sad. I am lucky. I guess it is because I am a nurse or maybe because I am just open (or blunt) because I don’t find myself in situations where I am afraid to talk to people when they or their family member is ill.
Embarrassingly I never thought about sending flowers being a pain. I guess I send flowers because they’re so beautiful they cheer up an otherwise drab sad room? Take your point about the fruit bowl. Funny I wouldn’t have sent that because would have thought the patient couldn’t eat it. I didn’t think about the visitors. Is your friend making improvements?
Vix-please never ever ever send me flowers. Do not like them AND they make me sneeze.
Also-in the hospital many people who are sick can’t tolerate the smell.
My friend was released today. Doing a bit better and we are all praying for a very speedy recovery.
Well said, I often think their is another motive. Still, me thinks anytype of kindness is still a good thing and a start.
It is indeed.
Consideration is the key. Consider THEIR needs. I love your thoughts here.
It really is all about them.
What a thoughtful post! I’m going to be pondering this one for a while. You’re exactly right.
Thanks so much for your comments. Mean a lot to me to have you contemplating them.